Apr 06
10
Monday bloody monday
It’s Monday. Usually a wondrous new beginning – 4 times a month, today I’m still cheezed about several things I saw this weekend.
Mullets on Children. We went to Wal-Mart (yeah I know – I should shut up already) and this gaggle of 5 is in the middle of the lane – blocking traffic. Mom is wearing skimpy low cut polyester – showing off not only the ‘prison-grade’ tattoo on her back (blurred and blue ink by Bic) but the top of her crack and frayed under garments. I (in my most ‘holier than thou’ voice) exclaimed “Bring out yer trailers…” followed by a rousing rendition of “You can take the girl outa the trailer park…” when I spotted it.
The micro mullet – the mullet in training – the trailer-baby. This kid was Mullet.com Cover Material.
Heartless and cruel – and a guarantee of a sheltered future for your child. Sheltered in a 75 Camaro, or 77 Roadrunner that is. Save a Child – Spare the Mullet.
Drive through Dirtbags. 6th Anniversary, Dairy Queen, 7pm. Getting the pregnant wife Ice Cream.
Pull into DQ – second in line… COOL.
Guy in front starts talking….
8th Anniversary.
Still behind asshole in Jeep Liberty…. (Ok.. it wasn’t quite that long…) but the guy is taking for EVER. We roll down the windows… and the dude finishes talking…
“Can I read that back….” the voice squawked from the box…
“Yuh-huh…” from the Liberty… (The only thing free here was his time… not mine, or anyone elses mind you…)
The box starts reading back the order… every one (6) a meal, with ‘alterations’… No pickles, extra tomatoes, no mayo, extra mayo, 1/3 ice, no ice… basically – a fast food crews nightmare.
“Yuh” says the Liberty… (Do I need to mention freedom again?)
“$67.13 ” squawks the box.
SIXTY SEVEN DOLLARS!?
AT A DRIVETHROUGH??
He starts his car (thank GOD he’s saving the environment) and pulls ahead.
“Can I help you?” I hate that box.
“We’d like a butterscotch sundae”.
“Is that everything?”
So we completed the formalities – and pulled ahead. The libertine shuts off the car and pulls out his debit card.
Now – I would draw this out. We waited 15 minutes – watching our sundae melt next to the drive though window.
I have 2 things I want to say here.
First - If I am ever behind you when you order 70 dollars of ‘custom’ food at a fast food drive through – I will PUSH your ASS right on OUT of the drivethrough with my SUV. That would be my “Shithead Un-obstructor Vehicle”. It’s a promise. And something tells me – I’ll get applause, and you’ll get NOTHING. YOU LOSE. GOOD DAY (sir or madam omitted)!
Second – If you WORK or MANAGE a drive through – please – set a reasonable limit on the drive through. A 6 part custom order should be PARKED. Not allowed to sit and block a drive through – blocking people in for 20 minutes. As the restaurant owner – you should be slapped. As the driver of the that car – you should be drawn and quartered for all to see.
Grrr.
Good morning. It’s a new week. A chance to start over.
Let’s see if anyone needs a beatin’ this week.
